My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
