Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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