You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
