I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize