So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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