Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
