Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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