Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is Oprah even human
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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