i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize