you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
