If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
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