We won't sleep together?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
