You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
ok first of all what the fuck
I forget how to act sober
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
