Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
