if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
