grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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