I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
