I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize