I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
