i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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