Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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