where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Enjoy the penises
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
