fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
