Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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