You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize