Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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