Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
