did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize