How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
