dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
