One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
