covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
