Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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