carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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