idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
