I must be too annoying 4 u.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize