I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
