i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
