i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
