My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
