Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize