my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
