He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They took my balls.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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