I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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