ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize