I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
