WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
