She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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