I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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