I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize