I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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