you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This baby is an asshole
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
