I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize