i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
