I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
