My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize