Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize