I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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