Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
