Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
