I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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