my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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