my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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