sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
