please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
