y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
