i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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