dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
