Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Mom said you looked used
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
did i just pee glitter
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
