do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
