So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
