evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize