you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Life is so much better after having sex.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
