I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
