dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
