I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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