Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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