Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
